One year ago, I decided to rush to the store to buy a gun, then I ran around in the afternoon and bought groceries… but we talked about that last year.
When I started this, I really believed that if enough of us all read the right books, or saw through the veil something would change. That that realization was so intrinsically motivating, that the “ah ha” would be sufficient to halt momentum, turn around and bite the feeding hand. Of course that’s wrong, but I was certainly actively indoctrinated in that view.
Hope was the concentrated power of so much awaking, the neo-liberal Care Bear Stare TM, button truth it’s as little more than inviting cosmic lotto karma to bear positively upon the situation over which I have “hope”. From Gandhi Finishing Move TM to salutation for the depressed.
It seems we live under capitalism until the country ends. All things must be measured in worth. All things not calculated this way will be counted negatively against us.
I was taught that “Once upon a time” TM, we used to live in world of virtue. But that was just a way to pay me not in money. And after they paid out enough virtue script, we started trying to spend it on petitions and protests. It became a competing currency. So selfishness, narcisism, division through identity and personal responsibility are unleashed to devalue it. And here we are, in a world of shamelessness, with only dollars to spend. TBH, it sucked too — scoldy-fash.
I think narrative can still do some fighting, or at least keep the pilot litght burning. Society goes — action cum psychology cum narrative cum transmission, ad infinitum. So they jam up the works, build alternative databases, fuck with the wiring in the layers, add CIA wet works, and unicorns and what a boy is and generations of abuse, an entire bone-broth bag of colonialism and top it off with one year of pandemic. You got yourself a good brain slurry.
I assumed I’d be dead. I assumed I’d be in a commune. I assumed I’d be living in my car. Instead I’m selling all my survivalism stuff and doubling down on tech-mediated capitalism. I be you are too.
I’m pretty sure Edging is here for another year. Work is bonkers and life is busy, and we’re four issues from #100 (holy fuck). The next few weeks may be slow, but after that my availability will increase and we’ll start year two in earnest.
Y’all rule. Thank you for such a wild year. I love you all.
Luca gave this to me, I know he’d want me to share it with you.